crazy new shit

Now, you’re probably not going to find anybody who is less flexible and less coordinated than I am. However, there’s probably also not anybody who is more of a sucker than I am when it comes to buying self-improvement crap stuff.

So, here’s my latest crazy new shit: I signed up for 30 days of yoga.  (I did the Karma edition, of course, because…well it does sound cooler, right?)

Anyhoo, this was a couple weeks ago and I thought I would have already been started on the videos that will have me flopping around on the living room floor, but apparently the first several days of the class are composed of emails to prepare us for successful floor flopping. These emails have explained how I should spend some time either walking on the beach (I’m serious, it said this. As if I would need to take an online yoga class to relax if I could walk on a beach whenever I felt like it) or sitting quietly in my living room (okay, more reasonable, although I do have trouble sitting quietly–ask anyone) to think deep thoughts about my intent.

I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that she doesn’t really want to hear about how the night I signed up, I had just eaten most half of a giant tres leches cake at Chuys and when I clicked on that payment button my intent was mostly to ameliorate the lingering feeling of bloaty-regret. So I have been spending some time walking on the beach, sitting here at the dining room table, thinking up a new intent that sounds more karma-yoga-ish than to punish myself for indulging in an awesome (yet overly large) desert.

The thing is, I’ve always wanted to be a person who does yoga and meditates and drinks exotic loose leaf-teas and is, I don’t know, calm and present-in-the-moment and filled with buddhisty-type wisdom. And not be the crazy-ass me who is exactly the opposite of every single one of those things except that I have used loose-leaf teas before but not very often because really I hate to clean out the teapot.


So I’ll keep you updated on my crazy new shit when it actually starts. On another note, all my manuscripts have been distributed to their readers…so I’ll let you know about that same old shit as soon as I know something.

Okay…now this is just scary:

8 thoughts on “crazy new shit

  1. I once signed up for a yoga teacher training course. I didn’t so much want to be a teacher as I wanted to deepen my own yoga practice. Given that my yoga practice was no yoga whatsoever at any time, I could have set my sights lower than a teacher training course. That being said, I did learn something very valuable. The reason I didn’t have a yoga practice was because I don’t want to have a yoga practice. This was an amazing discovery. I’d been beating myself up for almost a decade about not having the yoga practice that I wanted to have only to discover that I did in fact have the yoga practice I wanted to have. So the course (which I dropped out of after a couple of months) was worth the money after all.

    • well, I suspect I might be in a similar situation…but I lift weights and I walk (occasionally jog) and I keep thinking that yoga would be a good balance to help me stay more flexible and prevent injury. But I have a terrible time sitting still and being all “namaste” so we’ll see…

  2. I do not like yoga either. I am much too hyper to call stretching, posing and breathing exercise. Now, walking on the beach, that I can do happily! I hope you like the yoga, Melissa. I can’t wait to hear!

  3. Hey, Melissa — I hopped over here from the 30 Days of Yoga forum. I’m a writer too and have never been able to do a home yoga practice because I get bored and quit because I can. At least in the studio there’s the social pressure to stay with it, and I do love slowing down, I just haven’t been able to make myself do it voluntarily.

    “As if I would need to take an online yoga class to relax if I could walk on a beach whenever I felt like it.” Amen sister. (I just moved to Penang and there’s a beach at the end of my street and I still have trouble getting down there.)

    Anyway, all the best and we can keep tabs on each other 🙂

    • sounds good, Alison! I’ll email you because I haven’t been able to figure out how to really use the forum yet (when I log on it thinks I’m Jennifer…I like the name but…it’s going to be confusing ha!)

  4. Hi Melissa — Just dropped in after being curious about the title to this blog post when you commented at Writer Unboxed… 🙂 Really love your blogging voice and your skillful use of strikethrough text. Good luck with your crazy new shit. I also always wanted to be the person who does yoga. Instead, it turns out I’m the person who — every two years — goes to exactly one yoga class before realizing I can’t keep up with a new thing…

    • oooh a comment from one of my blogging heros (if anybody anywhere is ever reading these comments you need to go to Yuvi’s blog and check it out–I love his animated video posts. I’m a huge fan!) And Yuvi, in the off chance you get this comment reply, thank you! And yes, the jury is definitely still out on this yoga stuff…Last night I did about half of the downloaded video and thought, “well enough of this.” And turned if off. But maybe it’s one of those good-for-me things that works out better if I work up to it…kind of like eating lots of fiber.

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