okay, this is random but…

Way back in the day (which was just a few weeks ago because this is a pretty new blog) I wrote about submitting a sex scene to my critique group and titled the post: “how do you spell awkward…”

So, when I look at my blog statistics, the top searches that have brought someone to my blog are:

  • “how do you spell awkward”  Bravo!
  • “how do you spell akward”  Close, but no cigar
  • “how do you spell aquward”  Creative, but no ciguarre
  • “nit pickers”   I don’t remember saying nit pickers in a post, but I guess I did.
  • and then this: “They don’t need me anymore.” I had this in a post talking about my kids’ ages, so it wasn’t really sad when I used it. But, I’m a little bummed when I imagine somebody typing that into google and hitting enter.

Anyway, I feel a little bad about the awkward post fooling all those people into thinking I’m some spelling site. (Anyone who knows me knows how funny that is.) So I thought, I should change that title but my very next thought was, What if that lowers my blog visitor number...

Pitiful, right?

Actually, I think I’m going to start titling all my posts what I perceive to be common google searches. Like:

  • What are the symptoms of gonorrhea   I was going to write STDthatrhymeswithdiarrhea instead of gonorrhea, but that would be pussying out, right?
  • Where can I find free gay rhymeswithcorn  Okay, I am pussying out.
  • Where can I find free straight rhymeswithcorn   Meow.
  • How come if someone wanted to name a town in Louisiana “Nackadish” they spelled it “Natchitoches”  Okay, that one’s probably not a top search, but I really would like to know.

And, just because I’ve got a feline theme going here and everyone loves kittens and apples, and so having a video that features both kittens and apples will surely result in some enormous swell of visitors, I give you this:

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9 thoughts on “okay, this is random but…

  1. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t feel more awkward about people reading the sex scenes I’ve written. Then again, I’ve never brought out such a scene for the specific purposes of critique. I did have one friend tell me that she would rather not read my book because she would be uncomfortable reading a sex scene written by someone she knew. I found this odd.

  2. Melissa,
    This sex scene thing really cracks me up. It is funny and it brightens my day. And the google titles. Hahaha!!!
    I have no problem whatsoever reading any sex scene. If you need one more reader, here I am.
    Ping

  3. Sonje–I will read one of your sex scenes! See I don’t even know you so I would be a pretty objective reader. It is a little weird to have a friend be that squeamish about reading you scene…but then again if she felt that way at all, thank goodness she told you before she read it and things got weird.

    MV–how flattering (thank you!) but hilarious. I’m thinkin’ maybe a guru needs to have done something more than a month to be a guru…but as you know i never run out of advice or opinions, so of course I’ll help!

    Ping–Careful, I might take you up on that–Sonje might too haha!

    CK–Justin Bieber–now that’s hilarious. What an interesting social experiment to see if having the word porn or having the word Bieber got more hits…hmmmm,,,,I don’t know which is scarier.

  4. Melissa, you should be very proud of me… following your lead with story editing, I’ve cut out a whole section of the ship’s tour and will instead add snippets of conversation with B. and let him look for dark corners to make out with M.! You were right.
    It won’t measure as a sex scene, but most people will prefer that to the ship’s specs.

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